What would you say to my 18 or 20 year old? What would I have liked to know when I was 20 years old?
oung people can ask us many questions that have a difficult answer, because each path is different for each person. Although we can always make an analysis in this typical analysis under the question: What would you say to my 20 year old or 18 year old? While nobody is going to avoid many indecisions and mistakes, it never hurts to listen to the advice of people who have lived much more.
Why did you take this path instead of this one? What unnecessary suffering would you have liked to avoid if you went back in time? What decisions would you have liked not to make? And the most important question: What do you regret today and if you could go back you would avoid?
The truth is that once you reach a certain age, there is no point in repentance, because in reality all the experiences, both good and bad, have helped you to become the person you are today. But many of these regrets that you can not change anymore when belonging to the past, can serve as life lessons to prevent other young people from committing them again.
In this sense, you usually find the belief of some people who say: “Let me make my own mistakes just like you did them.” And it is true, but even more true is that if someone gives you the opportunity to avoid unnecessary suffering , take that option, because some mistakes mark you for life, and others, simply, make you lose valuable time.
What Would I Have liked Someone to Tell My Self Of the Past 20 Years?
1. Do not be afraid of making mistakes.
The truth is that the biggest mistake you can make in this life is to do nothing or risk not making mistakes. That is a fear that you must lose as soon as possible. Success in life rarely comes by choosing a safe opportunity. As a rule it involves risking. And the risks, risks are. We will not always find the desired result, so we must continue to risk despite our mistakes.
If you never take a risk, you will later regret not having done so, since you will never know what would have happened if you had acted.
2. Planting seeds for conservation. lt’s The Best Way to Find Your Passion.
While today most of the messages we find is “look for your passion”, “dedicate yourself to what you are passionate about”, etc … the truth is that the biggest problem is that very few people are clear about their passion. That is, it is normal that most people do not know what they like and therefore do not know what to do. And do not get frustrated by it.
That’s why I would follow the advice we already gave in a video. Do not stop doing many things, try new things, accept many challenges. If you are in the constant search to do things, to build, to create, to experiment, it is similar to planting many seeds. Some of those seeds will sprout. As a general rule, you should not seek your passion, but be in movement so that it is your passion that finds you. The secret here is that passion only comes to that person who is always on the move.
3. Invest in Yourself.
As Warren Buffett said, there is an investment that has the best return. It is the investment you make in yourself every day. Investing in your knowledge, your preparation, your energy and your health will give you a dividend that will hardly give you any other investment.
With time you will understand that you are the product of what you know and that the more time, energy and money you spend in acquiring knowledge, the more control you will have over your life.
4. When you Work on your Professional Skills, Think about Concentrating More on Less.
Despite what you think, at a professional level, it is better to know much about one thing than a little about many things. Think of it this way.
A black Karate belt looks much more impressive than a brown belt. But does a brown belt look much more impressive than a red belt? For most people, no. In professional terms, the same thing happens, and that is that we put the experts on a pedestal. So make sure you concentrate all your skills in one area and become an expert in something. To be able to say, I am one of the best in this.
5. Learn to Ask for What You Want.
You should know as soon as possible that people can not read your mind. They do not know what you want unless you tell them. If you like a girl, tell her straight and clear. If your boss does not know you want a promotion, why would he give it to you if he is saving money and thinks you’re fine as you are? The most important thing in life is communication, because through it, we say what we want and we know what others want. So do not skimp on saying clearly what you want, because in many cases they grant it to you.
Now, are you afraid of receiving a NO for an answer? Learn to manage the noes of life and lose their fear using the strategy of Jia Jiang, a man who sought to be rejected the more times better, and on the way, he found that when he lost the fear of being rejected, he found that even in the most absurd requests people accepted.
6. Make Quick Decisions.
Be careful, we must pre-meditate the decision we are going to make, but do it quickly. Or take action and take advantage of certain opportunities or someone else will do it first. You can not advance if you just keep thinking. Knowledge is useless if you never execute it by taking action.
Remember that being young is the perfect time to make a mistake, to fail, to fail … you have a lot of time to recover and learn lessons from it. So lose those fears, because you will discover that in the end are the fears the biggest paralyzer we have in life. I tell you a secret? You will always be afraid of something, and you have to learn to live with these fears and prevent them from slowing us down. That is, to do what the brave do: act in spite of fears.
7. Accept the Changes.
If we know anything about life, it is that changes occur in it. In fact, changes are necessary. Changes will not always be in your favor, but you should know that the situation you have now will change, and later change again. In many ways, in many ways. So you must develop the ability to adapt to new environments. As they say, the strongest and smartest species do not survive. Survive species that are able to adapt to the new environment.
8. Accept that Many of Your Sufferings are Blessings in Disguise.
This point is probably the most difficult point to understand. It is difficult to understand while you are suffering for something, that suffering is the best thing that can happen to you in life, as long as you do not get stuck in it. Did you leave that boy or girl with whom you wanted to share your life forever? With time you will understand that thanks to that you could know the person that will be part of your life until the end of your days. Have you been fired from a job? They are giving you the opportunity to look for something better or forcing you to develop your creativity so that you can dedicate yourself to what tomorrow will be your passion.
There are hundreds of stories of successful entrepreneurs who managed to succeed in their businesses because they were fired from their jobs. That is why many of the things that make you suffer, are really not good or bad. What is good or bad is the attitude that you are going to have after that that happens to you. Learn to see the end of stages as the opportunity of other different principles. It may sound like cheap self-help, but since you’re not going to be able to deal with the misfortunes of life, if you have the right mindset, you will understand in retrospect that they were covert blessings. A very clear example with this article.
9. Live Below your Means.
You must live a comfortable life, but not wasteful. Avoid spending money to impress others. I hope that eventually understand that those who need to spend money to impress it is either unsafe or a stupid person.
When you look back you discover that the best moments you have lived were those in which you did not need to spend money. You will discover that the most important people in your life are those who appear when you are the worst, and not when everything was going great for you. When everything is luxury, it is very easy for anyone to adapt easily to you.
But if I advise you to always live below your means is mainly because the situations tend to worsen, and who have not saved you regret not having done so.
10. Do not Worry too Much about What others Think of You.
When you are 18 or 20 years old, it is very easy to let yourself be influenced by the opinions of others. Over time, if life goes well, the fact that you give a fuck what others think of you, you will give a shit. Do not try to please everyone. That is impossible and you will not be able to please anyone. Do not try to treat everyone equally, because if you treat everyone equally, nobody feels special.
11.You don’t find meaning; you create meaning.
For a long time, I was constantly looking for what I was “meant to do” in life. Doing so can feel overwhelming, confusing, and shame-indulging. But here’s what I discovered: Finding is passive; it means that something or someone has to show up in order to get what we want. It’s outside our control.
So, instead of finding meaning, it’s better to create meaning. To indulge ourselves in projects and activities that feel meaningful to us. When we do this, we go from passive to active. From lacking control to gaining control.
12. Buy experiences, not things.
I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what type of designer bag I’d purchase. Don’t get me wrong, I love beautiful things and have no problem buying them. But I’ve learned not to put my happiness in them.
When I think back on my life, what I remember are the beach parties in the Dominican Republic, the soirées I spent with friends in Paris, and the walks with my sister in Central Park.
Experiences are what change us. They help us open up doors to new people, cultures, perspectives, and potentially a whole new world. So, invest your money well.
13.End Relationships You Don’t want to Be In.
I’m not sure why you insist on doing so. But you seem to stay far too long in relationships that you never wanted in the first place. It sucks to end them, but the truth is that it’s selfish of you to stay in those relationships. I guess the only way you’re going to learn this is through experience.
All this does not mean that you should not listen to the advice of other people. People sometimes see things that you can not see. In many cases, we will need to change, and many things that people think of us should really make us think if we are acting correctly. When to know if we should listen to what others think of us to change and improve? Trust me. You know.